Romantic Relationships And Personal Freedoms in America

We are a country that is proud of our personal freedoms / liberties.  For example, if someone wanted to smoke pot, well, maybe that's not a good example.  Maybe, we want to fight dogs against other dogs, well, no personal freedoms there either (not that there should be). So, when are personal freedoms allowed?  The simple answer is that we then the majority of people think an action is okay then we have the personal freedom to do it, more or less.  The majority of Americans believe that background checks to restrict the sale of guns to minors and felons is a reasonable restriction on our freedoms.  NRA, who is more powerful and has big bucks / influence says screw you Americans, we decide not you.

Understanding there are big issues on what freedoms we actually have and how we arrive at actually having a freedom is complicated and often unfair, today I want to just concentrate on relationships, romantic relationships in particular.

We have this fantasy in this country that boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, get married and live happy ever after.  The reality is that more than half will end in divorce, many of those that stay together are unhappy and together solely for financial reasons or inertia.  We have fantasies of how all of this happens ... the finding of the ONE ... Cinderella meets handsome Prince who saves her from a life of drudgery and takes her to the castle with servants (some of which might be wishing for their own happy ever after) where they live a blissful life full of diamonds and jewelry, well behaved children, and the Happy-Ever-After.  Guys fantasies usually run along the line that they will met a hot Cinderella that has modest and affordable tastes,  a great body that stays such after kids, and that craves hot and kinky sex every night. Maybe the guy's fantasy is slightly affected by my own fantasies.

I would say in America that most of us are okay with the Cinderalla and Hot Wife Fantasies and we are okay if someone with those views gets married.  Yea for personal freedom.  But, then it starts to get messy.  What if they are the same sex, or different races, or huge age differences between the partners, or they want multiple wives or husbands.  Whoa.  Personal freedoms be damned.

First, isn't there a belief in this country that if one's actions do not impact those around you (you can swing your arms until your fist hits my face) then we should be free to proceed.  Well, that is obviously not how it works.  Okay then, on the disputed items it is the majority that determines if the minority has the given freedom.  From my personal polls, most think it is okay to drink beer on Sunday's, always have, but in many places in America there are still restrictions on buying and drinking beers on Sunday's. So, what's up?

It is the "I am my brother's keeper rule" kicking in.  No, not the one where you give your brother some bread because he is hungry version (that one is not so popular), it is the version where you keep your brother from doing something that you think is wrong for you to do and therefore wrong for him.  If you think it is wrong because of your religious beliefs to have sex with someone of your same sex, then you try to stop others from committing that sin.  How do you do that most effectively?  You don't let then have the privileges of being married, therefore throwing up a very effective deterrent.  Not of the behavior itself, but of them prospering and enjoying their life.  In short, you are punishing your brother for his evil behavior ... you are your brother's keeper, saving his soul.

So, let's look at another example.  Love is good right?   We should all love our neighbor, our spouse, our parents, our children, the hot woman next door, Santa Claus, etc.  Pardon me, I don't know how the hot woman next door got in the list, obviously not okay.  But, what if she is a swinger and your mate is a swinger and you accidentally fall in love with her after years of "screwing her".  Of course, you have to tell your mate that you have broken the code of swingers and fallen in love.  Lots of Grief.  But, what if you are polyamorous and believe that it is okay to love others beside your spouse and she fully supports and encourages you loving others -- and the others are playing by the same open and honest -- full disclosure rules?

Now, the question before us is not whether you want to be a swinger or a polyamorous person, but whether or society with our strong, but untrue, Cinderella fantasies, should allow others to pursue alternate fantasies, their fantasies, of a rich and meaningful relationship(s).  My guess is that the religious rights says "no way, Hosea".  About a third would say, its okay with me what they do on the downlow.  I would guess only a third of people who say let's sanction such relationships with the rights of legal marriage. Those that say no to legal marriage would say "its just wrong" or "it won't work" (unlike the Cinderella fantasy).  Again, many will say "I'm your keeper brother and I am just not going to let you go there" with that kind of screwed up relationship.

Now humor me for a moment. Domestic violence.  1/4 of women experience domestic violence in this country.  At the core of such relationships is an OWNERSHIP MODEL.  I know a man in such a relationship that said "that's mine" and no one else better touch it.  I'll leave it to the reader's imagination which part of the anatomy the guy was speaking about.  But, how much of ownership model exists in most marriages?  How many of them are based on the union of equal partners free to negotiate an agreement that is right for the partnership?  How much of our cultural biases which are created in part by unrealistic fantasies (Cinderella and romance novels)) create an ownership model of marriage which lead to its ultimate demise.  And yes, it can go both ways.

What would a realistic, open and honest relationship look like.  Of course, each one would be unique.  But, until we have those explorers among us that want to try new things (two husbands?) and we give them the freedom to do so, how much are we also setting the tone in traditional marriage to live by scripts formulated by others?  And in trying to force all marriages to follow the same rules, how difficult are we making for each partner in a marriage to form their own unique, wonderful relationship.

Let's learn to send the message, "you two sit down and construct a marriage that is right for the two of you (or three of you)".

Energy Independence and Jobs for All Americans by Wileyfoxes

I've been an engineer now for 44 years, working in American industry for 46 years and an American for 66 years.  Never have I seen so much potential in this country as exists right now, and never have I been so fearful that this potential won't be realized.  We are in the middle of an energy revolution right now and we are completely unaware of how much good it could do for this country if we are brave enough to act boldly.  Simultaneously, we are also in the middle of the wealth inequality climbing to new heights in this country and much of the world.  Changes in our fundamental structure are required to realize the potential of the energy revolution and put Americans back into meaningful employment, and yet, our Congress and other leaders are too wrapped up in getting re-elected and bashing the other side to help us realize what is there for the taking.

Fracking is producing so much natural gas that much of it is being flared.  It is more profitable to go after the oil produced by fracking than to invest in the infrastructure that it would be required to deliver the natural gas where it is needed.  It is probably smart business to do this, but is it good for America in the long haul?  I would argue no.  Cheap energy, natural gas and oil included, is still a finite resource that belongs not only to us but to our children.  Squandering their future to maximize the profits of the oil companies is not being a good steward for future generations.  And, I suspect in our rush to maximize profits, all the players are not doing fracking safely - but although important, it is not the subject of this blog.  We can bash the oil companies, but they are playing by the rules of the game that we have set up.  It is up to us to change the rules.

To change the world, bold thinking is required.  Small tweaks to the current system will do little to alter our future which increasingly looks like a world filled with the haves and the have nots.  Energy is at the core of our prosperity and the distribution of the wealth that is coming and will come from energy is fundamental to whether or not we can alter the downward spirals associated with growing wealth inequality in the world.  

Also, let me remind you that our current income tax system is so complicated that perhaps hundreds of billions of dollars are squandered each year in figuring out the code and avoiding taxes - which is quite doable for the rich who can hire lawyers to exploit the complexity of our tax code.  No one in their right mind thinks it is a positive force in America, it is simply a disaster.

So, how do we make energy use more efficient, distribute the wealth in the country more fairly (i.e., jobs for all that want to work), and get rid of the current income tax system in one bold stroke.  Replace the income tax with a carbon tax.  Not overnight, but phase it in over about ten years.  In this system, corporations and people are taxed on the same system, how much CO2 (carbon dioxide) they put into the environment, i.e., they are taxed on their carbon dioxide footprint.

The carbon tax can be revenue neutral with regard to the revenue stream that it replaces, i.e., all income taxes in America, business and personal.  But, unlike income taxes which distort the common sense use of resources, an energy tax will have the single effect of promoting the efficient use of energy, the lifeblood of our future and our children's future for millenniums.

Such a fundamental change in the way we generate public funds and how we reward efficient use of energy will result in trillions of dollars of investment as companies rush to profit from this new paradigm.  It will take the trillions sitting in company coffers and give companies a reason to be first in the new world that will be created.  There will be rewards for more efficient cars, homes, factories, industries, etc.  Renewable resources like wind and solar will be more profitable because suddenly we are taking the long view of our non-renewable energy supplies and remembering who they belongs to.   Recycling will be encouraged as the large amount of energy that it takes to strip the ground open for virgin minerals, crude oil, etc. becomes more expensive compared to reusing and recycling what we have already stripped from the ground.  Millions of workers, many of them knowledge workers, will be required to make such a big dream happen.

And yet, this approach does not have to stop the boom that can be realized from abundant natural gas. The only change, we will not so recklessly do activities that do not have longer term benefits ... we will use the energy more efficiently, more wisely.   The Energy Industry will scream that we will be uncompetitive with the world that continues to squander the non-renewable resources.  There is too answers to this fear: the first is, that we are America and we lead, we don't follow.  The second is, that if this is phased in over ten years it gives our Industry and people time to adapt to the new rules and it gives the good people all over the world a chance to join forces with us and move toward a more sane future.

What chance do I see in this happening  with our current Democratic and Republican leadership.  None, zero, no chance in hell.  It will take a third party, perhaps the Free and Equal Party headed currently by Gary Johnson to spearhead it.  Or perhaps, an uprising of Americans that realize how important it is to change the game if we want a future for our children.  Of course, a lot of discourse has to go into how the revenues collected from an energy tax are best to be used, but we need that discussion even with the current system that is spiraling downward as Congress bickers.

For the moment, if you want to dream the BIG ENERGY DREAM with me, share this with your friends. If you don't think it is important, do nothing, or even better share with me your DREAM of changing the game.  But, please don't tell me you believe in business as usual.